By “Do I sound too gay?”
“What if they think my name is ghetto?”
“They’re going to think I’m some kind of Jesus-freak.”
Fear of negative evaluations or judgments from others is a core feature of social anxiety. Yet, as illustrated in the quotes above, for people with certain social identities, these fears may often be specifically related to worries about… Continue reading
By Back to school can bring up anxiety for kids. For children and teens with social anxiety, back to school can be particularly challenging. Social anxiety disorder in kids is characterized by fear of social situations with peers in which they may be judged negatively and in which their peers may notice their anxiety leading to rejection, embarrassment or… Continue reading
By “I always get to class just before it starts and slide noiselessly into a chair in the back because no one’s going to talk to me anyway and, if I’m there early, everyone’s going to stare at me!”
“What if the professor calls on me to answer a question? I won’t know what to say and I’ll turn bright red, it would be the worst!”
“I never eat in the dining… Continue reading
By Control often has benefits. It can create a sense of structure, predictability, mastery, and safety.
As we know, none of us are in control of everything. We have all experienced unwanted internal and external experiences. If we knew how to control everything, we would probably start there. Although we may not have a choice about all of the events that… Continue reading
By One of the most insidious and painful aspects of social anxiety many of my clients describe is the feeling of being alone, disconnected, and different from others. These feelings, and the perceptions and beliefs associated with them, can both contribute to and be the result of high levels of distress and suffering in social situations. Over the years,… Continue reading
By If you have social anxiety, avoidant coping modes may help you avoid activation of your schemas and your inner critic. Schemas are broad, pervasive themes regarding oneself and others, developed during childhood and reinforced throughout one’s lifetime. They tend to be unhelpful to a significant degree. In social anxiety, schemas may consist of… Continue reading
By It’s hard to believe it but it’s that time again: schools are welcoming back students all across the country. The summer weeks have passed and parents everywhere are stocking up on school supplies while their children pick out their favorite lunch boxes.
For many kids, the start of school is exciting. They get to see the friends they’ve missed all… Continue reading
By While the idea of introducing yourself to someone new is a very common challenge for those who struggle with social anxiety, for many the greater and often overlooked pain comes from difficulty deepening relationships to a more meaningful level. Many clients I have had the honor of working with have reported making some progress with initiating contact… Continue reading
By Social anxiety doesn’t occur out of blue like panic attacks often do. There was an event, a stressful situation in your past – – sometimes obvious, sometimes not – – that started the ball rolling on your path to becoming a socially anxious person. That social trauma led you to develop a negative image of yourself in similar… Continue reading
By “I recall standing in front of my class and seeing all the faces of my classmates as they listened to me talk. The words flowed easily until the dreaded stumble and stutter. I suddenly felt everything shift and change. My voice became less strong, the words did not flow as easily and I could see the faces change. They became characterized by judgment,… Continue reading
By Romance, a minefield of social anxiety triggers
Many aspects of pursuing romantic relationships are major social anxiety triggers for many people. How do you relate to these scenarios?
Initiating conversation with someone you find attractive.
Sending a first message online to someone you find attractive.
Conversing in person with someone you find… Continue reading
By Learning to hide
One of the most common social anxiety concerns is the fear that one will appear anxious to others: being anxious about your social anxiety itself! Of course, it’s not just that some sign of one’s anxiety will be visible, but that it will be followed by some form of negative evaluation or judgment that can greatly exacerbate the… Continue reading
By Assertiveness is something that many people, with and without social anxiety, struggle with. Many people fear that being assertive means they will come across as pushy, selfish, or argumentative. Particularly for individuals with social anxiety, negative, harsh judgements such as being seen as mean or pushy, are something to be feared and avoided as… Continue reading
By Parenting is no easy task, and when you factor in managing social anxiety as a parent, the challenges can be both unique and daunting. Trying to cope with your own anxiety while trying to show up in life for your child might feel overwhelming. Attending sporting events, school functions, doctor’s appointments, play dates, birthday parties, engaging in… Continue reading
By One of the most quickly growing areas of clinical research and treatment implementation is for people who are considered to be overcontrolled. What does being overcontrolled mean, and what does it have to do with feeling socially anxious? The concept of self-control refers to the ability to inhibit problematic behaviors. This is generally accepted… Continue reading