By Consider this situation. You are seeking a therapist to help manage your symptoms of social anxiety. You may describe a typical day as follows: You wake up, roll out of bed, and log on to the computer for work. As the day progresses, you receive a phone call or two from a coworker and boss to check in about progress on a project. These calls pose a… Continue reading
By If you have social anxiety, avoidant coping modes may help you avoid activation of your schemas and your inner critic. Schemas are broad, pervasive themes regarding oneself and others, developed during childhood and reinforced throughout one’s lifetime. They tend to be unhelpful to a significant degree. In social anxiety, schemas may consist of… Continue reading
By While the idea of introducing yourself to someone new is a very common challenge for those who struggle with social anxiety, for many the greater and often overlooked pain comes from difficulty deepening relationships to a more meaningful level. Many clients I have had the honor of working with have reported making some progress with initiating contact… Continue reading
By Comparing and judging ourselves negatively
Do any of these thoughts sound familiar to you?
They’re better conversationalists than I am.
I’m not as interesting and knowledgeable as they are.
They’re better looking. I’m not in their league.
They’re much more successful and impressive than I am.
They come across as so confident, and I come across… Continue reading
By When we experience high levels of anxiety in social situations, or have urges to avoid or escape, it is typically because we are worrying that other people will criticize or judge us. A feeling of intimidation and vulnerability may persist due to thoughts such as “What if they notice that I’m nervous ?, What if they think I’m weird?, What if they ask… Continue reading
By Romance, a minefield of social anxiety triggers
Many aspects of pursuing romantic relationships are major social anxiety triggers for many people. How do you relate to these scenarios?
Initiating conversation with someone you find attractive.
Sending a first message online to someone you find attractive.
Conversing in person with someone you find… Continue reading
By A Brief Commentary on the COVID-19 Pandemic
Around the world we are all witnessing an event that most people have never experienced before. The COVID-19 pandemic has tested humanity’s resolve and resiliency by having to change and alter how we live our lives each day. Whether it is a stay-at-home order, wearing a mask, or school being cancelled, this… Continue reading
By One of the most quickly growing areas of clinical research and treatment implementation is for people who are considered to be overcontrolled. What does being overcontrolled mean, and what does it have to do with feeling socially anxious? The concept of self-control refers to the ability to inhibit problematic behaviors. This is generally accepted… Continue reading
By I still remember a seemingly trivial moment while volunteering and travelling in New Zealand during my college years. After a hike through the rolling green hills with some travel friends, we stopped in a local shop with some custom design T-shirts. As I was about to leave without being inspired to purchase anything, I got stuck staring at a silly… Continue reading
By Toddlerhood is defined as the age range from 12 to 36 months. During this period, a child’s emotional and cognitive development grows by leaps and bounds, as do their social skills. This also coincides with the time when children are likely to go into a daycare environment or head off to preschool. As they engage more often with other children and… Continue reading
By The perils of beating ourselves up
“I can’t believe I said that! I’m such an idiot!”
“I made the conversation so awkward and boring!”
“I came across as so anxious and weird! How can I ever face these people again?!”
“I made such a terrible impression! I’m humiliated!”
These are just a few examples of the kinds of harshly self-critical thoughts with… Continue reading
By For those struggling with social anxiety, there may be a myriad of different worries that lead to avoiding social or performance events. Worries such as “I won’t be able to come up with anything good to say” or “I’ll make a stupid mistake and embarrass myself” are very common. For some individuals, the worry that brings on the most fear is simply that… Continue reading
By Social anxiety can often contribute to people feeling like they are alone. Automatic thoughts such as, “I’m too awkward”, “I can’t make friends”, and “Everyone thinks I’m weird”, are hallmarks of social anxiety. These thoughts can make it difficult to reach out for help.
Core Benefits of Group Work
Group therapy for social anxiety has been shown to… Continue reading
By What is Your Comfort Zone?
We often go about our day without awareness of why we do certain things. We often create habits that ensure risk is minimized by keeping things familiar and somewhat predictable. Although this pattern might lead to less uncertainty, it also prevents people from creating new experiences and learning new things.
If people… Continue reading
By People are inherently social. We band together in social groups at work or in school, we pair up in relationships and bond with friends over sports games. We even go out of our way to join online games or social media groups themed around a common interest. This bonding is deeply ingrained in our psyche – it’s the connection that allows us to help… Continue reading