By Control often has benefits. It can create a sense of structure, predictability, mastery, and safety.
As we know, none of us are in control of everything. We have all experienced unwanted internal and external experiences. If we knew how to control everything, we would probably start there. Although we may not have a choice about all of the events that… Continue reading
By Picture this. You enjoyed dinner with a friend who you haven’t seen in ages. You two shared a meal and a laugh after months of not being able to coordinate schedules. Despite having a nice time catching up, negative thoughts begin to creep in on your drive home. Before you know it, you start to doubt your performance at dinner and question whether your… Continue reading
By If you have social anxiety, avoidant coping modes may help you avoid activation of your schemas and your inner critic. Schemas are broad, pervasive themes regarding oneself and others, developed during childhood and reinforced throughout one’s lifetime. They tend to be unhelpful to a significant degree. In social anxiety, schemas may consist of… Continue reading
By Comparing and judging ourselves negatively
Do any of these thoughts sound familiar to you?
They’re better conversationalists than I am.
I’m not as interesting and knowledgeable as they are.
They’re better looking. I’m not in their league.
They’re much more successful and impressive than I am.
They come across as so confident, and I come across… Continue reading
By When we experience high levels of anxiety in social situations, or have urges to avoid or escape, it is typically because we are worrying that other people will criticize or judge us. A feeling of intimidation and vulnerability may persist due to thoughts such as “What if they notice that I’m nervous ?, What if they think I’m weird?, What if they ask… Continue reading
By Romance, a minefield of social anxiety triggers
Many aspects of pursuing romantic relationships are major social anxiety triggers for many people. How do you relate to these scenarios?
Initiating conversation with someone you find attractive.
Sending a first message online to someone you find attractive.
Conversing in person with someone you find… Continue reading
By Parenting is no easy task, and when you factor in managing social anxiety as a parent, the challenges can be both unique and daunting. Trying to cope with your own anxiety while trying to show up in life for your child might feel overwhelming. Attending sporting events, school functions, doctor’s appointments, play dates, birthday parties, engaging in… Continue reading
By The Many Forms of Procrastination
A lot can show up when someone settles down to start a task. Procrastination, the act of delaying the completion of a task, is a common response when one is faced with a challenging or multi-step task.
The thought “I can’t do this” can actually have several meanings. It can be helpful to examine the function of this… Continue reading
By The following is a narrative of a fictitious character, Ms. Anonymous (Ms. A), and her treatment for social anxiety. This case illustrates how evidence-based methods can be applied in therapy to help alleviate symptoms and recover from social anxiety. Again, Ms. A is a fictitious character, and any resemblance to a real person is purely coincidental…. Continue reading
By Many outcome studies have shown cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, to be the most effective approach to overcoming social anxiety. While core interventions of CBT such as cognitive restructuring and behavioral experiments (learn more about these strategies here) can help people to make great improvements to their social anxiety symptoms, one trait… Continue reading
By As of 2019, 33 states and the District of Columbia have passed laws legalizing marijuana in some form. 11 of those have laws legalizing marijuana for recreational use, in addition to the country of Canada.
A Turn of the Tide for Cannabis in the USA
Social norms and the stigma of cannabis use are beginning to shift nationwide, particularly in places… Continue reading
By Me, my thoughts, and my emotions
Most individuals experience successes and failures during social interactions. Although it is helpful to be mindful of internal experiences and one’s own behaviors, too much focus on these things often exacerbates cognitive and behavioral symptoms of social anxiety.
A negative filter
When compared to individuals who… Continue reading
By The perils of beating ourselves up
“I can’t believe I said that! I’m such an idiot!”
“I made the conversation so awkward and boring!”
“I came across as so anxious and weird! How can I ever face these people again?!”
“I made such a terrible impression! I’m humiliated!”
These are just a few examples of the kinds of harshly self-critical thoughts with… Continue reading
By To see one in all and all in one is to break
through the great barrier which narrows one’s
perception of reality.
-Thich Naht Hanh.
The illusion of the self and learned beliefs
If you have ever experienced social anxiety intensifying to the point of significant distress or interfering with your goals in life, you are all too familiar with the… Continue reading
By “I’m bad at meeting people.”
“I’m socially inept.”
“People dislike chatting with me.”
“I’m a boring conversationalist.”
“Others can see that I’m anxious which they’ll think is weird, or will make them uncomfortable.”
“I’m an introvert. I shouldn’t be expected to mingle. Chit chat is for extroverts!”
“I hate small talk!”
These are common hot thoughts… Continue reading