By “Performance” anxiety, indeed! That’s precisely the problem: thinking of sex as a performance, as something we are doing that is being scrutinized and evaluated by an audience. This performance mindset leads many men to be self-conscious, self-critical, worried, tense and anxious while being sexual. This in turns often results in bringing about… Continue reading
By What is Post-event Rumination and How Does It Relate to Social Anxiety?
“Why did I say that?” “I was the most awkward person at the party.” “I was so quiet that no one even noticed that I was there.” Have thoughts like this plagued you following a social event? When a person is stuck thinking over and over about an event that occurred, they are… Continue reading
By Thoughts and Feelings in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for Social Anxiety
Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) has repeatedly been shown to be the most effective treatment for social anxiety disorder for the large majority of people. A central principle in CBT is that what we feel—such as social anxiety—is created not directly by a situation we… Continue reading
By Upsetting Social Anxiety Thoughts
–I don’t know what to say. What do I say next?
–I might say something stupid / offensive.
–S/he’ll think I’m boring / stupid / unattractive / socially inept, and will dislike me.
–What I have to say isn’t good enough. No one will be interested.
–They can tell I’m anxious and will think I’m… Continue reading
By Anxiety is a function that is built into the human nervous system, for better or for worse. Understanding that it is natural (though seldom logical, and almost never comfortable) allows space for questions such as, “What would it feel like to fully accept anxiety when it is present?” “If I stopped fighting, what would happen?” “Can I be fully present… Continue reading